Singing teacher Cecilia led us through a few breathing and relaxation exercises first, some of which were very funny – blowing raspberries in a room full of other adults is more entertaining than you might think!

After that we sang some nursery rhymes, an indigenous ballad, spiritual songs and Carole King’s “You’ve Got a Friend” (you probably know the version recorded by James Taylor). A very enjoyable way to spend the morning.

I took away that PET is different in that it is more about building positive relationships with your kids rather than using rewards and punishments to manage behaviour. Building these relationships involves active listening, communicating your needs/feelings as a parent and problem solving. We discussed scenarios like battles over tidying rooms, sibling rivalry and just plain old grumpy moments.

I think one key difference in PET is rather than asking questions, use statements combining feelings and facts to communicate with your kids when they are unhappy. eg ‘looks like your knee really hurts (because you fell off your bike)’ or ‘ You seem frustrated because you want to play with the toy your brother is playing with’.  Easier to think about these responses out of the situation than it can be in the heat of the moment.
PET approach appeals to me on first glance so I was glad to have an overview and some hints about using it. Members were also interested in having more sessions in PET related stuff- so there may be more opportunities next year to hold some related sessions.  I also just found some free resources on the web

- Regan